Comedy Freaking Gold!

Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of the travel and mass transit industries of the country, the Vice President of the United States of America...

Vice president Joe Biden said today he would tell his family members not to use subways in the U.S. and implied schools should be shuttered as the swine flu outbreak spread to 11 states and forced school closures amid confirmation of the first U.S. death.

"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now," Biden said when asked whether he would advise family members to use public transportation.

Biden made his comments during a brief interview on NBC's "Today" show during an interview with Matt Lauer.

"I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. It's not that it's going to Mexico, it's you're in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation suggesting they ride the subway. "

Ain't he great?  Slo' Joe Biden, folks.  Give it up for him!

Man, we sure dodged a bullet with that Palin chick.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 199 words, total size 1 kb.

Sometimes, I just don't get it.

Unless it turns out that I actually am surrounded by morons.

Hopeful signs that the worst may be over for the economy boosted Americans' moods in April, sending a closely watched barometer of sentiment to the highest level since November.

These so-called "signs" remain a mystery to me.  Must be that my unicorn is still on back-order.
more...

Posted by: DocJ at 09:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 206 words, total size 2 kb.

Welcome to "Obama Motors"

Awesome.

General Motors Corp. outlined a revamped survival plan Monday that would leave the U.S. government as its majority owner in return for an extra $11.6 billion in federal aid.

The plan includes an ambitious debt-swap offer that moves the auto maker closer to restructuring through the bankruptcy court.

Restructuring as - what?  The automotive equivalent of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting?

Well, looks like President Lightworker is going to get to play Captain of Industry in addition to his nominal day job as President of the United States.

Like I said - awesome.

Posted by: DocJ at 12:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 98 words, total size 1 kb.

I have a man-crush on Mark Steyn

Below the fold is an excerpt from a recent lecture, given by Mark Steyn at Hillsdale College in New Hampshire - the full text is here.

It is, truth be told, a rather stunning read.  Even by the already high standards for such things that people like me have for Steyn's work.  It's also quite chilling given the context he lays out for our current political climate and our all-too-certain near- and long-term futures.

It will take you a couple of minutes - but seriously, it's well worth the time.

As he's the reason this landed in my inbox, many thanks are owed to Mike Franco - who, in retrospect, I really wish had been elected Chairman of the Massachusetts GOP.  Had that happened, chances are I might be sticking with the Republican Party a little bit longer.  Alas, and alack...

more...

Posted by: DocJ at 07:22 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 4310 words, total size 26 kb.

You know, if there were a functioning opposition party...

... this is the sort of shit that would inspire congressional walk-outs and stuff.

Sadly, this is the Republicans we're talking about - and there's neither a brain nor a functioning set of gonads among them.

So expect "reform" - read, total government take-over - of the once-finest healthcare delivery system in the world to get rammed down our throats without so much as a peep of protest.

BTW, you think healthcare is expensive and hard to get now?  Just wait until it's brought to you by the same people who bring us the smooth Austrian precision and efficiency of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Posted by: DocJ at 07:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

When I quit the Republican Party for good...

... and it will probably happen sooner rather than later...

... Meghan McCain will be one big, fat, stupid reason.

Meghan?  Sweetie?  Your 15-minutes ended when Daddy McMaverick's worst-in-a-century presidential campaign ended.  There is therefore no need to continue to share your middle-school-level intellect and political acumen with the world.

Seriously.

more...

Posted by: DocJ at 12:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 115 words, total size 1 kb.

Just to make it clear...

You want to know why I think the Democrat Party is the party of the intentionally stupid?

Well here's just one example - the same people who seem to think that waterboarding jihadis in effort to extract information that could save the lives of Americans is a Crime Against Humanity^TM are also willing to fight hammer-and-tongs to preserve the practice of infanticide (in the guize of Partial Birth Abortion).

So they're not willing to make a couple of Islamoterrorists uncomfortable for a few minutes but they are willing the suck the brain out of a living baby in order to not invonvenience his mother.

To square that circle you have to be either 1) intentionally stupid, or 2) a monster.

I'm being charitible by assuming the former.

Posted by: DocJ at 09:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 132 words, total size 1 kb.

The "green" in "Green Energy"

It's, ahem, money - of course.

In exchange for votes to pass a controversial global warming package, Democratic leaders are offering some lawmakers generous emission “allowances” to protect their districts from the economic pain of pollution restrictions.

People like Henry "Pig-Face" Waxman picking the winners and losers in the economy.  What could possibly go wrong?

Read the whole thing.  It's a laugh-riot - until you start to break-down and cry, that is.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 77 words, total size 1 kb.

Because it's just that sort of day...

Enjoy.

Posted by: DocJ at 09:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 8 words, total size 1 kb.

The Power of "The Deciders"

Anyone doubt the power of the MSM, even given that they are currently living (dying?) through a near death experience, to shape public opinion throughout Obamanation?  Anyone?

Well, let's just pluck these two headlines off the front page of Yahoo - both courtesy of the Disassociated Press...

New jobless claims rise more than expected to 640K

AP Poll: Americans high on Obama, direction of US

Yep, we're going to Hell in a hand-basket - and more people than not seem to be just fine with that.

Still doubt the power of the MSM to shape people's opinions and perceptions of current events?

Posted by: DocJ at 08:49 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 107 words, total size 1 kb.

Why bury the lead...

... when you can just spike the whole fucking story.

Baker's story attracted a lot of attention soon after the paper posted it on its Web site.  In addition to a link on Drudge, it is, according to Memeorandum, the talk of PowerLine, JustOneMinute, The Daily Dish, The Plum Line, Hot Air, Commentary, RedState, Political Punch, AmSpecBlog, and lots of other places on the Web.

In fact, it appears there is just one place you won't find Baker's story: the print edition of the New York Times.

The entire LeftMedia complex: Mother-fucking suckers of cock.

You can't go bankrupt fast enough.

Farepoorly.

H/T: Ace.

Posted by: DocJ at 03:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 108 words, total size 1 kb.

As Ace asks...

... "How's that new era of transparency working out for you?"

Barack Obama's top man in the intelligence community sent the President a memo defending the use of enhanced interrogation techniques, which the White House edited before releasing to the press de-emphasizing that defense.

We've always been at war with East Asia, it seems.

more...

Posted by: DocJ at 09:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 164 words, total size 1 kb.

Great investment GE made in MSDNC, eh?

Folks at MSDNC will say the darndest things, no?

But remember folks, we're the knuckledragging morons.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.

Oh goodie - witch hunts!

Remember, it's not sufficient to defeat your enemy - you must discredit and destroy them as well.

President Barack Obama said Tuesday the United States lost "our moral bearings" with gruesome terror-suspect interrogations and he left the door open to prosecuting Bush administration officials who vouched for their legality.

Oh, and a nice bit of editorializing from Jennifer "Kneepads" Loven there.  Gruesome, Jennifer?

I can't wait to see how The Dark Lord handles this latest softball from Obambi.  Seriously.

Posted by: DocJ at 12:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 84 words, total size 1 kb.

Shocker: TARP may not be working as advertised.

Show of hands - who didn't see this coming?

According to a Wall Street Journal analysis of Treasury Department data, the biggest recipients of taxpayer aid made or refinanced 23% less in new loans in February, the latest available data, than in October, the month the Treasury kicked off the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

Well, duh?  Of course they made less loans.  That's because they're - wait for it - BROKE!  And they're using TARP money to try to hide their looming (if not already de facto present) bankruptcy.

A cynic would claim that was a feature - rather than a bug - of the Obambi, Dubya, Geithner, Paulson bank balance sheet rescue program.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 122 words, total size 1 kb.

Mr. Post-Partisan strikes again

Here's a great idea - let's dump highly confidential memos from the previous Administration out on the White House lawn.  What could possibly go wrong?

Sweet Jeebus - is there anything the teleprompter messiah and his asshole minions won't politicize?

Posted by: DocJ at 08:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

Pat Toomey for Senate

Visualize: a Senate without Sen. Arlen "Not Proven" Specter (RiNO-Scotland).

Conservative Pat Toomey, a former Lehigh Valley congressman, this morning announced he is running for the Republican nomination for U.S. Senate in the 2010 election.

Godspeed, Mr. Toomey.

H/T: Glenn.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

Patriotic Dissent - sooooooo last administration.

DHS - the new brownshirts.

Rightwing extremists are harnessing this historical election as a recruitment tool. Many rightwing extremists are antagonistic toward the new presidential administration and its perceived stance on a range of issues, including immigration and citizenship, the expansion of social programs to minorities, and restrictions on firearms ownership and use. Rightwing extremists are increasingly galvanized by these concerns and leverage them as drivers for recruitment. From the 2008 election timeframe to the present, rightwing extremists have capitalized on related racial and political prejudices in expanded propaganda campaigns, thereby reaching out to a wider audience of potential sympathizers.

Well I must admit, that description pretty much fits me to a "T".

More from Gabe Malor and MM.

Dissent - it's just not for Patriots anymore.

Posted by: DocJ at 08:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 133 words, total size 1 kb.

Well, I was going to see it anyway.

And probably on opening weekend.

But methinks now that the cast/crew of the JJ Abrams vision of Star Trek are The Awesome!

Note to Hollywood, not only is this the right thing to do, it's awesome advertising. Let's face it, this film didn't need any free publicity, any extra buzz to score a huge opening weekend. Abrams and crew clearly did it because it was the right thing. Good for them.

Heck, I may even go twice.

Posted by: DocJ at 09:51 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

From the "I could not possibly care less about this" files

Oh look!  Shiny object!!  The Obama girls have a new dog!!!

Bo? No jest. The first family has settled on a first pet — a 6-month-old Portuguese water dog that the Obama girls are naming Bo.

And you know what is the saddest part?  That for roughly 2/3 of America, this qualifies as news.

We are so totally freaking screwed.

Posted by: DocJ at 09:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.